What up dudes and dudettes? Drop your skateboards or
whatever you kids text with now a days and get ready for more kitchen
shenanigans!
I’ve already covered some of the basic things you can make
in the kitchen, like spaghetti and Shakespeare’s favorite omelet. Now I’m going
to attempt to create something not so commonplace. CURRY!
More specifically, Peanut Curry!
This recipe was provided by my roommate. So if this all goes
to hell just blame it on him.
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This recipe was brought to you by the Roommate Foundation. Where no one washes the dishes. Seriously guys. Just do it. |
Let’s see what we will all need:
Rice
Coconut Milk
Peanut Butter
A Single Onion
Garam Masala
Tomato Paste
Step 1: Pour 2 cups of water in pot with rice. Turn heat to
low-medium.
Step 2: Dice Onions
and put them in a pan. Turn to medium heat.
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If in the process of dicing onions someone asks why you're crying just say you saw a vision of their future career at Wal-Mart. |
Step 3: Shake up coconut milk. Pour it into the onion pan
and mix it around.
Step 4: Put small amount of tomato paste into pan. Mix.
Step 5: Put in a handful of garam masala into pan. Mix.
Step 6: Put peanut butter into pan. Mix.
When I asked Roommate why peanut butter, he responded with “It makes the sauce thicker and
the taste better.”
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A response that would truly make George Washington Carver roll in his grave. |
Step 7: After letting both items heat for around 20 minutes,
turn off heat and admire your work.
You did it! You made Peanut Curry! You made a magnificent bowl of shitty peanut curry!
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That's right. After my taste testers and I ate a few bites of this gleaming pile of waste we immediately threw both of these pans out. |
You are now allowed to mock Roommate for the recipe.
Everyone
say:
Booooooo Roommate
Yep. He deserves it.
Now enough of that. Your roommates will think you may be
haunting them.
But all is not lost! You did something! You tried and took
the effort and that’s all that matters!
Well eating also matters, but that’s beside the point.
Guest Eater of the Week: Ben aka musical genius
“I don’t think it’s supposed to taste like this.”
“Is this even curry?!”
Until next week I bid you farewell and happy non curry
cooking!
I'd also like to take this opportunity to showcase her improper use of "your" when it should be "you're". |
Great post! Even though it may not have been good, I still feel like I learned something from it. Maybe a few weeks from now you can attempt a curry redemption post with a better recipe (and a better room mate).
ReplyDeleteWhat do you think went wrong? Was it just a bad recipe? I'm with Austin as far as a Curry Redemption post.
ReplyDelete