What's Ham Got To Do With It?

Yo guys! So crazy thing happened. You know how I said I’d make chili this week? Well I sort of lied. Not really, but sort of. See, it turns out that while I did buy the ingredients weeks in advance, it would seem to appear that the ingredients had somewhat disappeared. Ingredients being meat and rice. First suspects were either roommates or gypsies. I'm going to narrow my suspicions to the former...

So instead of chili, I’m going to fix the next easiest thing I can find at my place which is my own recipe of a ham and cheese omelet! Or what I'd like to call the Hamolet Omelet!   

Also I’m starving so I mainly just want to eat food.

Here's your gear before you embark on your food crusade:

1 pan

1 whisk

1 spatula (I can never say this word without laughing. This, and snorkel. Go on try it.)

1 mixing bowl

X amount of Eggs. (I made four for me and four for the guest eater)

Butter

Milk

Salt

Pepper

Ham

Shredded Cheese

1^st Step: Put your pan on the stove, get a dab of butter and spread it across the surface while turning on the heat to a low sizzle. The butter is so whatever you place in there won't stick. 

2nd Step: We get the eggs! You crack the eggs! You put them in the mixing pot!

It helps if you don't name the eggs, otherwise you grow attached to them.

Sorry Cleatus...

3^rd Step: Stir them up! You should keep on doing this until they are nice and runny. But not too runny or they’d run out the door!

But not too runny or they'd run out the door!

Bonus Fact#1: I like to think I'm funny.

Or funny looking at least.

4th step: At this point, being the only carnivore within my household, I like to show my dominance by regularly consuming various assortments of meat in front of the vegetarians. The meat that I will be eating today will be ham. Lovely, lovely ham. And one of the key ingredients to Hamolet Omelet. Just put it on the pan and flip it over every now and then so both sides are heated properly. 

We aren't just cooking food now. We're cooking love.

5th step: Go back to the mixing bowl now! Add a smidgen of milk to the mix, as well as a dash of salt, a dose of pepper, and a dab of shredded cheese.

Keep on stirring!

Bonus Fact#2: Uhmm.... Koala Bears aren't actually bears.

Who'd a thunk? 

Also lets backtrack here for a second. I don’t necessarily follow metric or imperial measurement laws, so I’ve grown accustomed to my own form of measurement:

1 smidgen= 3 dashes

1 dash= 2 dabs

1 dab= 2 doses

1 dose= 2 thumbsizes

2 thumbsizes= ?

Ya follow so far? Great! Of course you don’t!

^6th step: Stir the rest of the ingredients together, they should flow better now that you’ve added milk to the mix. So stir it up and pour it into the pan!

Wooo almost done champ!  

^7th step: Chill. And watch eggs happen.

Nature 

^8th step: Once the eggs start to heat up, flip them over and repeat again till they’re done and ready!

Dem some nice eggs ya got there

^9th step: enjoy in your breakfast dinner arrangement!

  

Guest Eater of the Week: Neighbor Joseph aka cool hipster neighbor who has a dope beard

First words that were spoken upon knocking on his door: “Oh heyyyy…. You?”

After eating first bite:  “These are eggs right?”

There you have it! My personal recipe of Hamolet Omelet!

Lets wrap this up with an uplifting text from my sister: