Chicken In The Middle

Hello there kitchen-hustlers! You’re back! Or I assume you're back since you are currently reading this post, but anyway welcome back! Again.

This week’s recipe will be:

Fried Chicken!

Chicken. Now that’s a word I heard a lot while in middle school.

“You don’t want to give me the answers to the math test? You’re a chicken!”

“You too scared to fight Brad? You’re a chicken!”

“What part did you get in the school’s dietary food play? Oh, you’re a chicken!”

This recipe may not be as fancy as steak or a healthy start to the day, but just like middle school once you go through it, the results may be fantastic.

Ingredients

Eggs

Chicken Tenders

Bread

Salt

Pepper

Any herbs ya want

Vegetable oil

Step 1: Place chicken on plastic wrap. Coat chicken with the wrap. 

Now beat the shit out of the chicken. Works best with a  mallet or a rolling pin. If you do not live in medieval times or do not have a mallet, fists also work quite well which is what I used. The purpose of this is to flatten the chicken. 

If you gain sympathy before beating the chicken, just picture it as a douche with frosted tips and sunglasses.

WHO HAS THE FUNNY NOSE NOW BRAD?!

Step 2: Dice up bread and put the pieces in a food processor. I didn’t have a food processor so I just made breadcrumbs with my hands. 

I did this with two slices, but looking back I would have used at least a few more as there weren't enough.

Step 3: At this point in the shebang put all of your salt/pepper/herbs and whatever you want onto your chicken. I was too cheap and only provided salt and pepper on mine. 

College livin'

Step 4: Break an egg into a bowl and whisk thoroughly. 

Now with the egg juices still in the bowl, put your chicken into the bowl so that it’s coated evenly with both sides of the yolk.

At last, mother meets child again but probably not in the way they intended.  

Step 5: Drag your yolked chicken through the bowl of breadcrumbs. Be sure to coat each side as evenly as possible.

This part is nothing to yolk about.  

Step 6: Add around a cm of veggie oil to the pan. Turn the heat around to med-high.

Place the chicken into the pan. Leave for about 3-4 minutes. Ideal color should be gold brown. 

Be sure to check on your chicken every now and then! My first pair turned even darker than I anticipated.

Step 7: Remove chicken and place on a plate with paper towels. From here ya done son. 

And that's fried chicken! 

Ehh yay?

So it didn’t really turn out the way I thought it was going to, but overall it tasted okay. Somewhat dry but still okay! The main problem I think was that I didn’t have any mustard and other herbs to put on and I should have added more breadcrumbs as well.

Bringing things full circle, this recipe turned out more or less like middle school. It was a mostly confusing process that one can only appreciate when looking back. At least this time I don’t have an acne problem and Cindy from homeroom isn’t here to break my heart. Plus I have chicken!

Eat your (non-existing) heart out Cindy!  

Guest Eater of the Week: Harrison- An Austin Powers aficionado

“This is actually pretty good. I can dig it!”

“I’m impressed!”

“Totally shagadelic.”

Stay tuned this upcoming week where I attempt to cook some sort of Thanksgiving side/meal!

i get 2 scooba sooon guyz