The Nightmare before Bakemas

  

Hello there my non-cooker groupies! It’s almost my absolute favorite time of the year!

Halloween!

And for this special time of the year I’ve decided to bake something truly ghoulish and ghastly:

SUGAR COOKIES!

It's okay children. Miley Cyrus is just afraid of you
as you are of it. 

You see, growing up with two sisters and a whole plethora of female cousins you would think I would have gotten around to baking some sort of pastry or cookie.

Well you are wrong in that thought. And I blame my sisters for that.

They're just sad because they never let me bake with them.

I would have added so much comic relief they
wouldn't have handled it.  

Well all that changed very recently as I managed to bake cookies for the first time ever!

That’s right! And I will show you how I did it!

Step 1: Put a ½ cup of sugar and 6 tablespoons of soft unsalted butter into a bowl.

 Mesh it all together until it forms as one.

Pour in ½ teaspoon of vanilla.

Put the egg into bowl. 

And then beat it. 

I hope you are proud of yourself.
You egg-beater. 

Step 2: In a separate bowl, put 1 ½ cups of flour, ½ teaspoon of baking powder, and ½ teaspoon of salt.

 

Whiter than a Mumford and Sons concert

Add all of these ingredients into the first bowl then mix. 

The end result should be a doughy mixture of dough. For me it was still pretty sticky, so I added in more flour and the problem went away. Just go ahead and get your hands in there and mush it around. It's great. Trust me. 

At this point in the process I thought I was done. 

But I wasn't. 

So uhm... nice cookies?

Step 3: Put that dough in the refrigerator for at least 45 minutes- an hour. 

Just think of it as time-out for the dough. 

It's getting kind of kranky. 

Step 4: Now while the dough is chilling in the fridge, pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees fahrenheit.

I'm a pretty big Kelvin fan myself but today we will be going with farhernheit.

Also to note: This is an oven.

Step 5: Clear a nice space out on your counter. Lay down plastic wrap so you can give the dough red carpet/flour treatment once it's done having its alone time. 

Roll out your dough with a rolling pin. If you do not have a rolling pin you can find any suitable substitute for it.

Such as this wine bottle.

But don't worry; the contents of the bottle were consumed
 before the rolling process started.
  

Roll out the dough to a ¼ inch thick.

From here use any cookie cutters you want. 

I’ll be using the Halloween cookie cutters to give it a holiday vibe.

When placing your cutters, be sure to place them next to one another for maximum cookie usage.

Place them on the baking sheet.

And pop them into the oven!

It should take between 8-12 minutes to fully bake.

Ideal look should be gold around the edges.

Step 6: The Icing.  

Put 1 cup of powdered sugar into a bowl.

Put a couple tablespoons of some not quite-boiling water into the bowl to party with the powdered sugar.

 After mixing the ingredients together, it should form sort of a thick paste. At this point you can add any food coloring you desire, but in this particular case I used sprinkles instead.

Mother. Fucking. Sprinkles.

Spread the paste onto each cookie individually and pour the sprinkle goodness upon it.

And there you have yourself some goddamn Halloween Cookies.

(Please note that in the heat of the moment, the cookies, and the mother-effing sprinkles, I forgot to snap a few pics of the end result. However I am planning on remaking this recipe this weekend, and will update once more with pics)

It's done! Good job!

You did it!

I did it!

I did it.

I did it….

I finally made cookies for the first time in my life. That’s that…  

Well that was sure anti-climatic. I was worried that once I was done baking I would have some sort of existential breakdown on how expectations never live up to their hype and that recipes are kin to goals and objectives in your life that you need to follow in order to be a good person.

But a las. I am the same. Except that I now know how to bake sugar cookies in the shapes of ghosts and pumpkins.

Guest Eater of the Week: Caraline aka dancer who has the grace of a cat

“Mmmmmm?”

“Somewhat crunchy.”

Happy Halloween everybody!

The difference between sisters. 

The loving one

Although granted, I do annoy her more.

But she loves me.

I mean who doesn't?!